Thriftster weddings

Another bridezilla moment

When Cheap Geek and I got engaged last year, we had hoped for a simple wedding. If CG had his way, there would have only been thirty guests. If I had my way, we’d be donning the clothes we wore when we first ‘met’: me in a paisely-patterned vintage dress, him in jeans and a Space Invaders T-shirt.

Seven months on, our guest list is encroaching a hundred, friends and family are having costume changes, and Mum’s planning on mobilising an army of uni student helpers. I went bridezilla a couple of weeks back, venting about wedding invites. I had heard ‘It’s your special day and you should do whatever you want BUT…’ one too many times. ‘You shouldn’t do your own hair and makeup; you only get married once; get a professional to do it’, one friend said. ‘You need to wear a khan dong with your ao dai or you won’t look like a bride,’ said another. ‘Have a real bouquet. Don’t try to save money by carrying a copy of Emma.’ And, ‘You should invite the boss…[even though you don’t know her very well]…out of respect.’

In ye olden days, only the upper classes had to worry about putting on a show as befitting of social status. Nowadays, weddings are an outlet for all sorts of class aspirations. Even a small-budget bride wants to be a princess for a day.

Even a small-budget bride wants to be a (Disney) princess for a day.

But what if you don’t want to spend the equivalent of a home deposit on funding that expensive princess habit? What if you’d rather spend that money on double glazing or a trip around the world?

When it comes to the wedding, people keep on telling me what I should do. Apparently I’ll regret it if I don’t follow their advice.

I’m regretting not having double glazing. It’s freezing in here, and those trams are bloody loud.

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3 thoughts on “Another bridezilla moment

  1. In my experience you will regret it more if you don’t stand your ground. My wedding was a mish-mash of other people’s demands with only a glimmer of what my then fiancé and I had hoped for…an expensive glimmer. What does this wedding represent to you and Cheap Geek? That’s what’s important. Stay strong and good luck x

  2. It’s a hard road to travel. Yes its ‘YOUR day’ – but so many others, especially those close to you, can feel that they have so much invested in it! Some will offer advice based on lessons they learned the hard way (that can be good advice to listen to!). Others may just want to see you both experience what they couldn’t have. Others may be fearful that you’ll have regrets if you don’t do things the way they think it should be done. The most important thing is that you and that wonderful man you’re about to marry leave your wedding celebration happy. I had that joy on my wedding day! And that’s what I hope you have too. Filter the advice and take what works for you and leave the rest behind.

    The best weddings I have been to have been the ones where the personalities of the bride and groom shine through; where their relationship is celebrated with honesty, love and joy; where families have joined together with great hope and expectation for the future. Let your personalities shine through. Give all of us who are going to be there an even greater reason to celebrate as we see just how much you love each other, the shared values and interests you have and the quirky sense of humour and fun that you enjoy about each other.

    And try not to stress. Yes, it’s an important day with many ‘stakeholders’ (none of whom are as important as you, but, especially your parents, are important none-the-less) and you won’t be able to please everyone! But don’t leave your celebration with regrets. Give it your all and at the same time remember, as important as this one day is it is just the beginning of a lifetime of creating memories, of loving each other and exploring life together.

    And hey, the song list is already a winner so you’re more than half-way there!

    T (sis-in-law-to-be)

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